dear monday me / april 12 2010

12 Apr

sometimes you survive, moment to moment, on minor modifications.

like unbuttoning the top button until you can make it to the next rest stop,
just around the bend,
in 92 miles.

or turning the safety pin in your purse into a fashionable brooch when your dress rips in the most inconvenient of places.

you’re agile with these adjustments, they solve so simply, such seemingly indomitable problems.

other adaptations are less a matter of survival. less innocent motives are at work.

mutations.

you’ve learned to alter self before situation, a subtle change of tone or language, a different laugh, a sarcastic smile. who is this you? why the changing of the guard?

to squelch some intangible fear? to quiet an unwelcome quarter the soul?

these are unnecessary mutations – be one you, in every situation.

unless, of course, you really have to pee. then all bets are off.
tiny tweaks can be real game-changers.

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5 Responses to “dear monday me / april 12 2010”

  1. Ashleigh (Heart and Home) April 12, 2010 at 12:00 pm #

    These little alterations, the little changes… they almost become so much a part of us that we don’t know who we are without them. I wonder what it is to know “the true me.” Can we… or can only our Creator?

    • dearabbyleigh April 12, 2010 at 12:02 pm #

      glad you are tracking with me, friend. wasn’t sure i said this in a way that made any sense.

      i think we can be aware of who we are being, and try to make that as true to who God has told us we are as possible.

      carry on with your genuine self, dear.

  2. Justen April 12, 2010 at 1:19 pm #

    “you can never step into the same river twice.”
    -Heraclitus

    i dare to point out that these changes aren’t always malicious, premeditated, or often recognized in hindsight.

    Parmenides said, “whatever is, is.” which begs us to consider: aren’t you, even in the moment you are consciously (or unconsciously) changing, BEING you? yes, even in that change, you are yourself.

    the fact that you consider these changes, defines the changes in you. What is, is.

    The role God plays is beyond our realm of understanding, because when we take the next step in the river, when we change and redefine a slight portion of ourselves everything is different. He never changes. He is constant, and unlike us He is never in flux.

    To be genuine is to change, and to continue to consider your changes. So revel in it! Only then can you begin to grasp the glory of a God who is every single droplet of water in that river, touching you with each step.

    • dearabbyleigh April 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm #

      great point mr. barks. thanks for joining :)

      i think my frustration is when i feel myself changing my attitude or the way i conduct myself around a certain group of people, or to fit a certain version of myself i feel is appropriate.

      i don’t want to have to decide if work abby or fun abby or serious abby should show up at the party – i just want to go as genuine abby, granted that self is always changing!

  3. little sis April 12, 2010 at 3:04 pm #

    so insightful, big sis. i so look forward to your insights at the start of every week. i’ll pay special attention to maintaining my true self this week, i think i know who that is :)

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