on kroger, konfusion, and karma

10 Feb

“do you see the canned ham?” always a good conversation starter.

it happens about once a month. i get up the nerve to go to the grocery with an actual recipe in mind, proceed to search the aisles for what feels like hours not finding anything i need, and then cave. i call my mom.

oh kroger

it’s an illogical but always profitable decision. she’s 6 hours away, probably not in an actual grocery store, and most definitely thinking about other things when her  phone rings.

but i still call.

i reach for her years of aisle-wandering expertise, her mental rolodex of recipe substitutions, and most importantly her laugh when i explain the ridiculous predicament i’ve somehow weaseled my way into.

monday night, in the pasta aisle of my less-than-luxury kroger, i was looking for green fettuccine. no luck in any of the places my tour guide suggested, so i settled for spinach. 10 minutes later, in the freezing carnage that is the meat department, i was hunting for turkey breast. simple enough, right? wrong.

mustached butcher man said they were out of turkey. “seriously?”

“yes.” blank stare

mom said that can’t be true and led me on a search for canned ham – which i imagined looked something like tuna. wrong again. well, unless you buy huge cans of tuna. then maybe . . .

turns out they were out of turkey, so i bought some chicken and called it a day.

after many more minutes at kroger than i ever like to spend i started on my recipe.

surprise! it was perfection. i share it with you now in the hopes that your next hellish grocery trip has as happy an ending as mine, and that you have a mom like mine to call to make the trip entertaining.

hoisin-glazed turkey/chicken on fettuccine/spinach.

adapted from Better Homes and Gardens: Cooking for Two :)

the key to this yuminess is the sauce.

  • slice your meat into 1/2 inch strips and cook in some oil on a large skillet, medium/high heat, until its no longer pink. watch out for oil burns – i gotta get one of those splatter shields. yikes.
  • while meat is cooking mix up your sauce:

1/4 cup orange marmalade
2 TBS hoisin sauce (delicious secret asian sauce, next to the soy sauce!)
1 1/2 tsp soy sauce
1/2 tsp grated ginger

  • remove the meat from the skillet, set aside, and cover with towel to keep warm. pour out extra oil.
  • add the sauce to the skillet and let it work up a good bubble, stir for another minute to let it thicken
  • toss the meat back in, and coat it with the delicious sauce – try not to drool on it!
  • serve over pasta, spinach, or whatever else you like with some sliced almonds and green onions on top.
  • i also made sweet potato bites baked in honey/lemon juice/olive oil for 30-40 minutes on high heat. perfect match :)
  • enjoy!


5 Responses to “on kroger, konfusion, and karma”

  1. kristenbaird February 10, 2010 at 8:24 pm #

    I do the same thing. I don’t think I’ve actually gone to the grocery store without calling my mother. They’re full of wisdom and experience! Or maybe they’re just really good at making stuff up! Nice work, Abs :)

    • dearabbyleigh February 10, 2010 at 8:27 pm #

      probably the latter but i’ll take it! it’s like they have a grocery store map printed on their brain!

  2. emily February 11, 2010 at 4:05 am #

    mmm sounds delicious! you’re getting really good at this recipe adaptation stuff…the first step to writing/making up your own recipes :)

  3. Shawn Somerfield March 30, 2010 at 12:43 pm #

    So much fun to get this story from both your and your mom’s points of view. Great.


  1. family vacation, as in vacation from family « Dear Abby Leigh - July 15, 2010

    […] mom who rescues me from krogemergencies with a laugh that makes me feel so close, to her and the loving dad, so proud of all of us, no […]

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